


Happiness in misery

by Raisedyoulikeaphoenix



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - High School, Bullying, M/M, Self-Mutilation, Social awkward!cas, cursing, no chick flick moments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-04
Updated: 2013-09-25
Packaged: 2017-12-25 13:04:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/953440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raisedyoulikeaphoenix/pseuds/Raisedyoulikeaphoenix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas Novak is a freshman at high school his life hasn't been the best between his older sister Anna dating a abusive boyfriend and his brother Michael away at college he's alone. His best friend Gabriel died over a year ago and he is affected by it, it's when Sam Winchester takes him home one afternoon he meets his older brother Dean who keeps to himself Cas can't help but slowly fall for him</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Nice trench coat, faggot." A voice Cas hardly notices he quickly turned the dial on his locker praying Crowley and his goons didn't see him alone and easy pray. 

Cas thinks of Gabriel and how he would of fought back defending Cas if only he could see how low he was now.

Grabbing his copy of _To kill a Mockingbird_ he headed to advance English he smiled at the thought of Gabriel spray painting rainbows on the jocks cars last year before he died. "Hey Novak." Cas turns to see a platter of spaghetti flying in the air, before he could move it drenched him in red sauce and meatballs. He saw it came from Crowley. Who were bellied over laughing as they fled from the scene.

Cas peeled away as much as he could before he entered advanced English. He didn't believe it was his second month at high school he pictured himself at the last day as a senior surrounded by a flock of admiring friends. Instead he opened the door to see the much older students shooting death glares at him.

**  
"Mr. Novak I'm sorry, but you can't come in this class room until your mess is rather taken of." Mrs. Morgan a older kind teacher to Castiel stopped him before he could even sit down.

"It's not a mess, I'm fine I just slipped." Cas hated lying. 

Mrs. Morgan pointed a finger at a taller shaggy hair student who was writing down the board notes.

"Sam Winchester, could you please take Castiel home, it seems he can't follow dress code." Mrs. Morgan saw the sadness in his blue eyes and decided Cas could go home for the day. 

"Uh, sure." Sam stood up and nearly collided into a bookcase he hovered over Mrs. Morgan and Cas. 

"Good bye Castiel and please become more informed of the dress code." Mrs. Morgan shut the door behind the two boys going back into her own world. 

"I'm Sam Winchester, by the way." He smiled at Cas who felt too shy to look up at the giant.

"I'm Castiel Novak." He looked at the ground as he said this.

Sam just laughed before pulling out a pair of keys with a jingle. 

"Where do you live?" Cas was following Sam out to the parking lot to the sea of cars that the staff and students drove, he pictured Sam driving something sporty or a hybrid.

"At my mom's place with my older sister Anna."

Sam looked at him again, this time confused.

"Oh you meant my address." Cas could feel himself wanting to hide under a rock.

"It's fine, you're just nervous. Here we are and be careful it's not my ride its my brother's Dean he will seriously kill me if I fuck it up." Sam stood aside to show off a jet black impala that looked right off the show room floor, for a moment Cas felt a warmth about the car it stood out from the copies of Hondas and Toyotas.

"Just toss your stuff in the trunk." Sam gestured as he tossed his backpack into the trunk, Cas carefully sat his stained bag in the trunk not wanting to even ruin the trunk.

"Thanks Sam." Was all Cas said while they pulled out of the parking lot. Sam nodded.

Sam turned the radio up, which was blasting The Doors _L.A. Woman_.

**  
"Mom's not home?" Sam watched Cas slouch over in the passager-seat. 

"It's fine I'll just wait, I can read for awhile." Cas smiled Sam had done so much for him.

 _Why didn't I take my key._ Cas could see through the window the key on the counter if only he could transport himself to grab it.

"No, you can hang out with Dean and I my uncle Bobby can drive you back home later no harm no fowl." Sam drummed his fingertips against the dashboard.

Cas could freeze his ass off waiting for his mother to get home from work or possibly Anna if she didn't sleep over at Raphael's, his body shook at the thought of Raphael remembering how he caught Anna cowering in a corner one day with him hovering over her fists drawn with freshly bleeding knuckles.

"Are you coming or not?"

Cas broke his thoughts and quickly wrote a note on the door incase his mother arrived home early. 

"I guess so." Cas buried his hands in his pockets.

"Awesome, I promise we don't bite..well maybe Bobby if you mess around with his books. Other than that he's a harmless bear." Sam pulled out of the Novak's driveway kicking up a cloud a dust. 

Cas found himself enjoying the warmth from the car, he could smell cigarettes although Sam didn't look the type to smoke and a bottle of whiskey lay forgotten on the backseat. He suspected Dean was much older than Sam. 

"What are you anyway a freshman, or a junior?" Cas heard Sam's voice blabbing. 

"I'm a freshman." Cas pulled a lint ball off his coat he felt sticky with the spaghetti.

"I'm a senior actually. And after this year I am counting down the days to get the hell out of Lawrence." 

Cas could tell Sam was trying his best with small talk. He listened to Sam nodding at the right times, until they hit a gravel road.

**  
"Bobby I'm home!" Sam dunked his head walking into the garage. Bobby was working on a older truck that was being drained of fluid. 

"Sam is that you?" A man's voice shouted from under the hood, when he pulled out a kind smile warmed over his sun worn face, his shirt was dirty with stains his hat had seen better days but he seemed harmless until he saw Cas trailing behind Sam.

"Ooh look here, Sam you finally brought a friend over!" Bobby wiped his hands on a rag hanging over a sink.

"Bobby, I always bring friends over." Sam hitched his backpack over his shoulder. "This is Cas Novak he's hanging out for awhile."

"Really? Then what ever happened to that nice Meg girl or that pretty Ruby girl you dated for awhile?"

Sam rolled his eyes before entering the house. Cas followed suit until he was stopped by a giant bear hug by Bobby. He felt panic set in for a minute until he realized the man meant no harm.

 

"Anyone that is a friend of the boys is family too." He said before returning to the truck.

"Nice to meet you Mr. Winchester." Cas nodded.

Bobby let out a laugh before speaking, "I'm no Winchester I'm Bobby Singer. I'm the closest thing to family those two boys have raised them like my own." Bobby smiled warmly as Cas entered the house.

He was welcomed by a warm gush of air and the smell of a pot roast cooking away in the oven, he noticed Sam holding out a bottle of water before Cas took it.

"Thank you." Cas took a small sip watching Sam pull out his laptop.

"You don't need to say thank you for everything." 

"Sorry."

 _"Or sorry each time."_ Sam started typing away.

"There's a shower upstairs if you want to clean up, I'm sure I have some clothes for you to borrow." Sam directed Cas to the upstairs bathroom. 

"Thanks." Cas kicked himself for saying thank you again while Sam just shut the door.

He stripped himself of his clothing, feeling the spaghetti stuck inside his shirt, he sighed defeated thinking of revenge he could get on Crowley without actually hurting him or even worse be caught.

"Anyone in here?" He whispered to the empty bathroom he always checked to make sure he was alone before getting in the shower.

**  
"Cas, I got some clothes." Sam tapped against the bathroom door as Cas stepped out wrapping a towel around his waist.

Cas took a tee shirt holding it against himself he could tell it was too big. 

"We could just borrow some of Dean's clothes, he won't care." Sam walked in the direction of the bedrooms with Cas behind. 

"How old is Dean, does he go to school too?" Cas wondered out loud.

"Dean hated school so he works now at a pie shop, he helps deliver pies for a living he actually doesn't mind he loves pie more than anyone I've met. He's twenty two." Sam pushed back the bedroom door to a messy room Cas could barely make out where to step at.

"Sam go away!" A bundle shouted at the two.

"I'm just borrowing a few clothes that's all, don't worry." Sam pulled out a drawer handing Cas a Ac/Dc shirt and a pair of worn jeans.

"Get your own damn clothes." The bundle moved exposing a shirtless man under with green piercing eyes that stun Cas.

"Who's that Sammy?" Dean's tone took a soft tone.

"Castiel Novak, a friend of mine. _Jerk._ ".

Dean pushed away a pile of clutter jumping to his feet, he was wearing a pair of sweatpants and had one sock on.

"Bitch. Hey there Cas I'm Dean." He held out his hand for Cas to shake. He took Dean's hand feeling a sparke of electricity flown through his body. He locked eyes with Dean before Sam made a throat clearing.

"Nice to meet you Dean." The sound of Dean's name rolled off his tounge.

"Maybe you should go get uh dressed." Sam felt uneasy with Cas being nearly nude with a towel hanging off his waist.

**  
Cas was once again in the Winchester's car only this time, Dean was driving with Sam in the backseat, at every stoplight Cas would find himself looking at Dean or smelling the shirt he was borrowing. Sam made comments about how he could hang out with Sam at lunch or again after school.

"Thank you all so much." Cas was thankful for the sunset as he could feel his cheeks blushing, Dean was mouthing along to The Ramones unaware of Cas watching his every move.

"Anytime, Cas. And don't forget to call later." Sam handed him his phone number.

"Dean will give you a full tour of the woods behind our house next time, there some amazing sights back there." Sam told Cas all about the nature walks he loved going on and how many times Dean had gone camping with him.

"Sam, Cas doesn't want to see nature shit. He needs to see the actual world, the woods are only good for disposing a dead body."

Sam flipped Dean off, while Cas burst into laughter that ached his ribs.

"You think that's funny, you haven't seen a day of the Winchesters." Sam concluded.

"Sorry, it's been so long since I laughed. My friend Gabriel he used to tell some funny jokes once he spray painted Crowley's car with rainbows." 

"That was him? Oh god I want to shake this dude's hand, where does he live?" Dean's eyes shone with laughter.

"Gabriel died." 

The Winchester's each stopped laughing.

"How did he die?" Sam spoke first.

"Suicide." Cas's voice no higher than a whisper he was nearly home. "I kinda wished he had told me how he felt or left a note, his parents moved away I never got to say good bye." 

Dean pulled into the Novak's driveway, shutting off the engine he looked at Sam before Sam nodded.

"I'm sorry about your loss, Gabriel seemed like a good kid." Dean looked at Cas.

"It's okay."

"You can hang out with us. It's not so bad. Besides Sam's awful jokes." Dean snickered earning a rightful smack from Sam.

"Screw you Dean."

"Nah, I don't swing that way." Earning a laugh from Cas.

"I'll see you guys later. Thanks Sam and Dean." Cas held onto his bag with the stained clothes inside, his mother was going to scream at the mess.

"Good bye Cas." Sam climbed in the front turning up the radio.

"Shit, are you trying to make me go deaf?!" Dean smacked Sam's hands from the radio dial.

"Bye! See you Cas." With that Cas turned to walk down his driveway to his quiet home, Anna's car was in the driveway, he entered his home hearing nothing but the chattering of Anna on the phone with Raphael, relief flooded him that he wasn't over.

He marched to his room setting his bookbag on the floor he kicked off his shoes before climbing into bed, he closed his eyes seeing nothing but Dean's green eyes he didn't even hear Anna chat on the phone or his mother covering him up.


	2. Chapter 2

Cas was sleeping soundly until a loud banging startled him awake, his first thought was a robber was in the house. He thought of all the murderers who could easily overtake him. Still in Dean's borrowed clothes he opened his door wide to see nothing but a darkened hallway. He walked into the kitchen prepared to grab his old baseball bat if needed.

"Mom?" He saw her nurse swipe card on the counter top next to a slowly gathering pile of bills, Anna and his mother's car were safe without smashed out windows in the driveway.

With no other noises in the home, he padded his bare feet across the cold tile floor grimacing at the coldness he quickly was opening his door, to someone sitting on his bed.

Fear flooded him like a river on a shore, it was a robber after all to rob his home and kill his family, swallowed hard before he could grip the baseball bat a laugh filled the silent home.

"Jesus Christ, it's like trying to awaken a coma patient." The voice floated across the room.

Cas tired and more relaxed switched on a lamp on his desk to discover Sam holding out what looked like a beaten box filled with fireworks and a case of beer was sticking out, Cas craned his neck to see Sam texting something on his phone before drawing his focus back to Cas.

"How did you get in my house?" Cas wasn't freaked anymore he was just worried his mother would burst in with a can of pepper spray although Sam could tower over her.

"Simple, your window was unlocked so I tried tossing rocks against the window but you didn't wake up so I ended up opening up your window and now here we are." Sam breezed through.

Cas noticed he was gripping the baseball bat he chuckled before tossing it under his bed. Sam's eyebrows knitted together but he said nothing. Instead he raised his box showing it to Cas.

"It's like three am, can't whatever it is wait?" Cas yawned, realizing he was still in Dean's clothes he felt his body heat rise from embarrassment.

"No way, come on grab a sweater and come on, Dean is waiting in the car."

Cas felt like he had drank twenty cups of coffee, he wanted to bolt out the window with Sam thankfully he was on the ground floor.

"Okay, sure."

Cas followed Sam out his window shivering at the cold wind blowing around him. He forget the sweater he didn't want to be a drag and say he forgot it, he was welcomed by a smiling Dean who even at three am looked incredibly good, Cas caught a mixture of tobacco and leather as he grew closer.

"Sam! What the hell took your ass so long? If you hadn't notice it's freezing out here." Dean opened the passenger door letting Cas in the back.

"Sleeping beauty didn't want to wake up." Sam climbed in shoving the box in.

" _Cas?_ " It's his first night out with the cool kids." Dean slammed the door starting the car up.

Cas prayed it wouldn't wake up his family. He listened to the brothers bicker, reminding him of Michael, Anna and him when they were kids.

"Now he's laughing at you." Sam snickered taking a beer out.

Dean rolled his eyes pulling away from the Novak's driveway.

**

A twenty minute drive later they pulled into a empty field, gathered by a starry night Cas thought it was beautiful.

"Did you bring your lighter this time?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, what do you think I am a idiot?" 

Cas silent in the back made no comment, gazed at the night sky.

"Come on Cas." Sam said holding the door open. He rubbed his arms for warmth.

Stepping out of the car, he saw Dean holding a firecracker grinning madly at it.

"What are-we doing anyway?" Cas tried to stop his teeth from chattering.

"Dean and I have a tradition of setting off fireworks every month in honour of our parents." Sam opened a beer offering Cas one, who declined one fearing his mother would smell his breath and know he snuck out and got drunk.

"Oh."

Cas wanted to say more but he couldn't keep warm. Dean lit one firework watching it hiss as it flew into the air sending the sky on fire and filling the sky with light.

"Cas are you okay?" A voice made him jump.

Dean was now watching Sam light up a firework or attempting to. "Are you cold?" Dean noticed Cas holding himself together.

"No, I'm just nervous." 

Dean sighed opening the trunk in the car he pulled out a freshly clean familiar trench jacket.

 _It was his._

"Didn't Sam tell you Bobby cleaned it up for you? Jesus Christ, the man may be dirty as hell but can he clean." Dean placed the jacket in Cas's hands feeling the warmth off of Dean's hands Cas took it quickly placing it on he felt much better, it was a security blanket almost.

"Thank you. It smells great!" Cas wanted to smack himself in the head.

_It smelled good? Was that all he could say?_

"Nah don't thank me, I can't wash nothing I broke the washer once with a pocket knife." Dean laughed as Sam ran from the firework watching in glory as the redness filled the sky.

"I can't cook, if that makes you feel any better." Cas offered.

Sam was out of breath as he held up a remaining firework in his hand.

"Last one." Dean nodded.

"Cas how about you light it, for new beginnings?" Sam handed the lighter and the green firework, Cas unsure what to do watched as Dean took it before lighting it for him.

"Maybe you can try next time, it's fine you weren't ready." Sam encouraged.

"Next time?" Cas felt his heart speeding rapidity hoping Sam and Dean were his friends.

"Yeah Cas why wouldn't there be one?" Dean opened the sat door climbing in with the box.

"I thought that maybe I-." Cas looked at the time on his phone it was almost five am.

"Holy shit. I have to get home." Cas climbed into the back wishing Dean would peel away so he could be done with it.

"Watch your mouth princess." Dean laughed. 

Cas twisted the tie on his trench coat he was nervous and he had the time of his life only he was going to by killed by his mother.


	3. Chapter 3

"Where the Hell were you?" I called your brother Michael he was going to leave campus and drive over hundreds of miles for you! You're lucky I didn't call the police!" His mother screamed at him the next morning, he was hardly listening. 

The only way to keep awake was the cup of coffee he was nursing over. His mother then placed a bowl of oatmeal in front of him, he hated oatmeal and she only made it because she was furious with him.

"It's okay I just was out." He took the the oatmeal taking a bite he half resisted to spit it out.

"Out? Castiel since when the fuck do you go out?" She sat next to him daring him to lie.

"Since I met Meg, she's really great mom." Cas lied quickly he didn't need her knowing about the Winchesters, _not ever, it'll ruin everything._ He heard a voice echo in his mind.

"Meg? So you have a girlfriend now? Is that what you're telling me?" She eyed him then smiled sweetly like the mother he knew and loved. 

"Yeah, I met her and she's really great." He started pouring a bottle of syrup to hide the taste of the bland oatmeal.

"Good for you! Just don't sneak out again I almost had a heart attack." His mother filled a mug with her own coffee before grabbing her keys.

"Be good, and don't be late for school. Anna will be here after you get home. There's a pizza in the freezer." She kissed his forehead and was gone. 

Cas held his vomit back as he threw away the bowl and everything into the trash. He could always get yelled at later for a missing bowl.

**  
An hour later and a clean set of jeans and a decent smelling tee shirt he was again at his locker. He breathed in the scent of Dean's fragrance on the trench coat, he thought of how poised Dean's lips looked the light green eyes that shone brightly against his pupils. 

He thought of the brief contact between Dean and his hands, it felt like a spark between the two. He sighed heavily wishing Dean still went to school and was more of Cas's age, then again he was out of his league even thinking Dean could like someone so pathetic as he was.

"Cas. I'm surprised you even showed up today. Still haven't learned have we now?" Crowley's voice broke his thoughts.

"Leave me alone." Cas took out a text book he couldn't deal with Crowley, he was in a good mood for once.

He heard silence thinking Crowley actually left him alone, a over-aggressive Crowley shoved Cas against his locker. He could hear the blood pounding in his ears. 

"You stupid, pansy. No one tells me to leave." He hissed in his ears.

"I'm sorry, please stop it. I won't do it again." Cas was then pulled back by his hair to see Crowley's beet red face. He hated the grinning smirk spreading across his face, he shut his eyes fearing for himself.

" _Sorry?_ is that all you can say? That won't help this time."

Cas thought a single punch to the face, would ease his bully's frustration instead it never came.

He opened his eyes to see Crowley standing there, and for a moment Cas believed it was over. 

Wrong.

Crowley took Cas by his hair again only this time forcing him into the boy's restroom. He winced at the smell of urine and lemon pledge the janitor tried so hard to use to cover the smell. Crowley paying no notice to Cas's well being threw him against a open stall.

He dodged the open toilet seat. His chest felt on fire, he saw no one but the two were in the restroom.

"Do you know why I hate you?"  
Crowley hovered over him. Cas tried hiding in the corner as far as possible from him.

"I'll scream, someone will hear me." Cas managed to threaten.

"Go on scream, just think though when your 'hero' comes to your rescue, I can simply say you were tripping on drugs and I tried stopping you from bashing your head in but you fought me."

Cas didn't believe it, no Crowley was a bully plain and simple everyone knew that.

"People know."

"Not against the judge's son will they believe you. A fatherless child living with your sister and whore mommy." 

Cas felt a rage rise in him, if he could knock him out or over, Cas could run for help any help would do. He thought of Dean and how Crowley would of been knocked cold if he even dared laid a hand on him.

He wanted to be home, he wanted to be in the field with the Winchester's he wanted to run.

"Either you stop fighting me off or it's going to get worse for you." Crowley was undoing his belt.

Thinking Crowley was going to take his belt off and hit him, he covered his head.

"No stupid." Crowley sighed as if he couldn't believe how stupid Cas was.

"Just hit me and be over with it, I need to get to class." He felt his hand slip in something that he suspected wasn't water.

"Hit you? Nah you're full of so much usage than just beating you." 

"Then what are you going to do to me?!" Cas shouted he didn't care if was accused of doing drugs he wanted out.

"A small favor in exchange for not hurting those friends of your's _The Winchester's_. I believe you three are all friendly with one another."

Cas felt bile rise to the top of his throat. 

"We can do this the easy way or I can go hurt your friends and you're the one to blame."

Cas without much of a fight listened. A more than eager Crowley took Cas's face pressing it against the denim of his jeans.

Without control he felt tears running down his face he felt used and stupid for even being alone in the hallway. 

A zipper was pulled down and Cas thought of fireworks exploding anything but were he was, felt better.

"Such a good fag." He heard before Crowley coaxed him further along.

**  
Alone and with a trail of cum slipping down his chin, Cas couldn't bare moving his whole body was in agony his throat felt blocked as if he couldn't get enough air in, he sat still on the cold urine stained floor.

_"Tell a soul and you're gong to be the one to blame."_ Crowley's words to him after he released himself into his mouth.

Cas picked himself up, he caught a glance of himself in the mirror and nearly screamed from the sight. His hair was sticking up, his black shirt was spotted with blood and cum. The sockets of his eyes burned from crying, they appeared bloodshot red. 

The sink seemed like a haven to him, as he splashed cold water against his face, with no point of going to class he thought of how brave Dean seemed or how clever Sam was.

He reached into his pockets feeling around for change to ride the bus home, he couldn't dare face Sam after school today. He pulled out a wad of lint, a few coins and a _key_. It felt sharp against his hand.

He pulled his left sleeve up, looking at the pale patch of skin with his blue veins sticking out it seemed all too fragile for him. 

He hitched his breath, pulling his arm in a straight line he took the key digging it in until he felt a satisfied sting. Then the aroma of metallic hit the air. 

A simple word came to mind _blood_.

Taking a quick look at his already bleeding arm it stung but the temptation to do more was there. 

_No one cares, Cas. You're better off dead. Why stop when you can hurt even more. Pathetic._ A roar of voices swirled in his head.

"No one cares." He heard his rasped voice.

He thought of pressing harder onto the pulsing vein. Instead he sat on the floor and kept slicing, he didn't notice the tears slip down his face. 

He was alone, Crowley controlled all the cards now Cas was doomed.


	4. Chapter 4

"Castiel Novak, please come to the office immediately Principal Zachariah Smith would like a word with you." His chemistry teacher held out a hall pass after stopping him from entering his home room.

"Thanks." Was all he said, he just arrived from the bathroom holding onto his still bleeding arm, his dark maroon sweater hid the blood that quickly spread to his hands.

He avoided any interaction with his mother, she was in her own world dating again and he couldn't ruin it for her. _Cas and his issues._ He didn't care anymore, he switched from his house key to a pocket knife his left arm tingled with stinging pain.

Cas walked the deserted hallways, only passing a few staggering students. He held onto his book for life passing the boy's restroom fearing a quick hand would jerk him inside. After he passed it relief flooded him, he stopped in front of the office doorway. A guidance therapist looked up from his book, a false smile began spread across. 

"Ah, Castiel! Principle Zachariah is waiting for you." He opened the door shoving Cas in, without a another word.

"Castiel, come sit down. We haven't officially ever spoke before I did meet your brother Michael back when he was a all star football player and your beautifully talented sister Anna. But you're the quiet and rule obeying Novak." The principal smiled too much making Cas's skin crawl.

Cas sat down on the fake plastic chairs, wishing he could stand.

"What did you want me for, I'm missing chemistry." He pulled on a loose thread from his sweater.

Zachariah pulled out a small white binder sliding it across to Cas.

"I believe you have a spotty attendance record, and a few of your grades are slipping, what is going on?" He fixed his already perfect stack of papers, waiting for Cas to respond.

"I haven't felt well, I have had the flu.." Cas lied without looking up.

" _Flu?_ are you sure about that answer, a classmate of yours Meg Masters claims different. She claims a bit of bullying has been involved."

Cas felt his throat become itchy, sweat stung his eyes, he couldn't he wouldn't say Crowley's name not now or ever.

"Castiel? You look a bit pale..here drink some water." He handed Cas a water bottle that he guiltily drank whole, he didn't believe he could be that thirsty. 

"No, I'm not being bullied just a couple of guys roughhousing, you know getting pumped up?" He peeled the label off slowly.

"Castiel I know things have been rough on you and my deepest concern is your well being, mentally and physically. I care about each of my students."

Cas felt a sob build up in his chest, he wanted to come clean he wanted to reach for the box of tissues and tell everything instead he stared absently at smiling child, Cas figured was related somehow to Principle Smith. 

"Thank you. I'm okay really, can I go now?" 

Zachariah opened his mouth to say something more when the front door flew open with Mrs. Novak still in her nurse scrubs, she felt relieved seeing her son in one piece.

"Ah Mrs. Novak, I see you got my call. Come sit down." 

Cas groaned he knew he was screwed, until his mother spoke.

"I'm sorry, but I left my job and I'm the only one who can run that hospital with my eyes closed can this wait?" She smiled unaware of the seriousness.

"Alright, but I wish you could stay." Mrs. Novak was ushering Cas and herself out leaving Zachariah.

Cas felt relief even though his mother was silent on the drive home. He heard nothing but static radio and the heater. 

She pulled into the driveway not getting out.

"I'll see you tonight, and Cas try to behave I really wish you would behave yourself in school." She sighed heavily.

"Bye mom, I'll-." She backed out leaving Cas once again alone.

Cas later that evening was hoarding over his history text book all the events becoming mush. He slammed it close hearing the echo through his room.

He wrapped his arm in a axe bandage before switching off his lamp. Yawning he fell asleep leaving his arm out. 

**  
" _Cas?_ Wake up." Through a haze he could hear Dean's voice.

Oh shit, he quickly pulled his arm under the blanket. 

"Dean? What are you doing, where's Sam?" 

Dean turned his lamp, before Cas could stop him he was pulling the blankets off him.

"Stop it! Dean leave me alone." He tried hiding his arm under his leg. 

"Cas what the fuck is wrong with you? Let me see your arm now."

Cas felt his eyes blur, _no please don't Dean_.

"It's nothing I fell." 

Dean was not buying it, he finally pulled back his left arm. For a moment there was silence,

"Cas?" A voice so low Cas didn't dare look up. "What did you do?"

"Why do you even care?!" Cas spat out, it wasn't directed to Dean it was building inside.

Dean, didn't speak. He took Castiel's chin forcing Cas to look into his eyes.

"You're beautiful Cas, why would you hurt yourself?"

Taking his arm he cringed at the pain that escaped him. 

"No, stop it go away." Cas tried pulling away only for Dean's soft touch to bring him back.

Without letting go Cas pulled in to Dean kissing him softy he could taste cigarettes, beer he caught a whiff of his cologne, Dean didn't push him away he let Cas kiss him.

"I have to go, Cas..please don't hurt yourself again." Dean slowly let go of Cas.

"Dean? Can you call me?" Cas didn't want him to leave even if Dean hated him for the rest of his life.

"Sure. I really need to go I have to work." Dean kissed his forehead before climbing out his window. 

Cas still whirling from the kiss, he sat awake until the sun rose reminding him, school was waiting for him meaning Crowley was waiting for him waiting to catch him at his most vulnerable moment.


	5. Chapter 5

Cas sat at his desk, staring at the history test that laid before him. His stomach rumbled he couldn't remember the last time he ate, not that he was hungry much these days. To his relief Crowley wasn't around today _to his knowledge_. 

The bell rang, with a rush Cas handed his test to Mr. Gordon he tried to merge with the crowd of students only a distinct voice brought him back, to see Mr. Gordon shaking his head at his unfinished paper. He pointed a finger at Castiel alone.

"Castiel Novak, the bell has rung and your test is unfinished and the only credit I can give you is you wrote your name." Cas didn't say anything he deserved it.

"I didn't study."

"Castiel you're or were one of my best students I don't think not studying is to blame, a few teachers and I have noticed your grades slipping and you're not even trying." Mr. Gordon tried to touch Castiel's shoulder only for him to jerk away.

"I'm fine, I'll make the test up." Cas feared once again his mother would become involved. 

"Not this time, Castiel this was half of your grade..I'm afraid I have no choice but to fail you." Mr. Gordon's eyes burned into his.

Cas, felt as if he took a blow to the chest, _another failing grade._

"It's okay, I'm going now." Cas seemed to say to himself, he blocked out anything that was being said he didn't care, he opened the classroom door and without noticing Sam was standing there he took a right to the boys restroom he was already pulling the box cutter out from his bag.

**  
Cas didn't even bother going into a bathroom stall, he threw his book bag down and sat on the floor next to the overflowing trash bin. _Stupid that's all you are just trash_ he pulled his sleeve up to expose a mutilated arm, it was still bright red he took the razor pressing dangerously close to the vein. 

Red blood pooled out onto the floor, in a haze of panic he applied the brown paper towels to the wound he couldn't feel the sting his pant leg was stained with blood that was darkening. He wiped some of the blood away to see a large gash was taking place of his skin. 

"Fuck." He then felt his head become woozy he took the razor again pressing only this time on the vein, his eyes widen he knew it this was it. The blood was a thick syrup with it splashing onto his sweater. 

He stood up, to see his face was pale he ran cold water onto the cuts, only to see blood pouring out faster. His eyes began to shut he fell on his back, he could barely hear the water spilling overtop onto the floor. 

The door flew open, _no no please go away let me die._

He knew it was Crowley coming to finish him off, he could almost hear his voice he could feel his arm being wrapped

_Wrapped?_

He struggled to see through strained eyesight a mount of messy hair and someone taller than he was was wrapping his arm up.

"Sam?" Was all he could say before closing his eyes.

" _Meg?_ Drive my car and pull it around to the front, and hurry he's losing a lot of fucking blood." 

"I'm going, holy shit Novak that's fucking going to leave a mark." He heard a girl's voice say before her heals clicked away running. 

Cas wanted to say leave him, he wanted the pressure on his arm to be let go he needed to bleed out.

"Cas, what did you do?" Sam placed his arm under Cas then he was being lifted up.

"Shit, shit." A girl's voice was back and following the two, he heard hushed murmurs and a few 'is he okay or what happened?' Sam to Castiel's relief avoided all questions only shouting, get out of the way.

A cold air was welcomed, to Cas he was being laid down in the backseat.

"Sam what are you going to do, his _Mom_ works at the hospital you can't take _him_ there." The car was moving now with Cas fading in and out of conscious, the voices becoming static.

"Meg, you know his mom needs to know about this."

There was a jerk on the steering wheel causing Sam to curse.

"Are you that fucking stupid, take him to your uncle Bobby's he was a soldier once wasn't he!? Couldn't he help him?!" Meg's voice rose.

"What if he doesn't know what to do?"

"Sam, damn it fucking drive home or so help me I'm going to kick you out of this car and drive."

"Fine, a hospital would be better." The car roared to life while Cas passed out.

**

Cas felt himself being moved, he wanted to open his eyes but couldn't. He could feel a blanket being covered over himself there was a tv playing in the background with a sitcom theme playing.

"I got off the phone with Mrs. Novak, you better be kissing my ass for the next few months." A gruff voice spoke.

"Thanks Bobby, did you tell her Cas would be here until Monday?" Sam said.

"Yeah, made up some crap about a school project..said he fell at gym and I had to patch his arm up." Bobby sighed heavily.

Cas opened his eyes a bit to see himself laying on a couch with at least five pillows surrounding him, the blanket covered every inch of his body.

When he tried to move his arm, a fire raged throughout his body he held in a scream.

"How long will he have to you know heal?"

"Couple of weeks and in a few I'll remove the stitches. You're lucky you got here as quick as you did. Otherwise I think he might of suffered enough blood loss."

Cas noticed the bloody clothing was gone instead replaced by a _Johnny Cash_ shirt and a ragged pair of sweats.

"I gotta go drop Meg off now before her father has a bitch fit about her being over here." 

Cas felt a weight shifted, and noticed Meg was sitting next to him silent the whole time. He felt a wave of embarrassment Meg noticed he was awake and hugged him before leaving.

"By the way, how did Cas end up like that?" Bobby's tone serious.

"I would like to know too." Cas heard Dean's voice over the others and he knew Dean would want nothing to deal with him, he would tell Sam what a loser he was and how much of a idiot he was he could feel his lips tingle still from Dean.

"Like I said, he stormed out of his class and the next thing I knew I found him on the bathroom floor, If Meg hadn't seen the box cutter that fell out of his bag, I doubt I would even of gone in there."

Cas watched the silence between the two brothers. Bobby gestured for Meg to come on.

"I'll go clean up the mess.." Sam rubbed the back of his head before leaving the room, with Cas and Dean alone.

"Dean I-." Cas started only for Dean to stop him.

"Cas, did you try to kill _yourself?_ "

"Yes, and why do you care?"

Dean sat next to Cas taking his arm examining it not in disgust or sorrow.

"It hurts doesn't it?" Dean said in a quiet voice.

Cas nodded, before he could stop he was crying. 

"It's okay Cas. You can talk to me or Sam hell even Meg. I'm not going to ask why you tried to do it. I'm just damn it Cas, I care for you."

Cas could feel his heart flutter inside, he looked into Dean's eyes he looked back as if he could see Cas's soul.

"I care about you too." Cas said quietly.

Dean picked up Cas holding him letting him soak his shirt with tears. 

"Just stop hurting yourself, you almost died." 

Cas choked on a sob, he couldn't stop. 

"I love you." Cas said before placing his lips on Dean, he felt a familiar sensation ring throughout himself, only this time Dean didn't try to kiss back.

"Cas, I can't be with you. You're too young." Dean pulled away. 

"I'm too _young?_ That's all? No please stop it don't speak I don't want to hear it." Cas let his head hit the pillow.

"Cas don't take it that way, please don't."

"Leave me alone, maybe if I had died I could be left alone!"

Dean scoffed. "What in a fucking bathroom stall? Are you kidding me Cas?"

Cas felt as if those last words were the worst he could almost feel the razor being dragged again over his wrist.

"I get it, just leave me alone." 

Dean sighed before he finally did leave him alone, Cas didn't want him to see him cry that was it no one cared he was right. 

"I'm sorry Cas." He could barely hear Dean say.

Alive who cares? He was better off dead.


	6. Chapter 6

Cas was riding soberly with Sam as he was drove home, it was awkward..after Dean rejected him. 

Cas wanted to leave the Winchesters only to find himself unable to move. He laid on the couch occasionally getting up for a bathroom break or Sam trying to cram food down him. 

Dean strangely wasn't there, Sam claims he was at his friend Charlie's and would likely say good bye before he left. Days passed, only Meg and Sam were by his side.

"I said are _you_ okay Cas?" Sam's voice echoed through him.

Cas fiddled with the radio until a pop song appeared, he couldn't tell if it was a band or some computer generated voice telling him to buy _Old Navy's_ jeans.

Sam snapped the radio off, turning onto a street corner he stopped the impala.

"Cas you need to talk to me. I'm worried about you, we lied to _your_ mom for you! For fuck sakes, the school thinks you suffered a breakdown. _Dean_ even cares!" Sam exclaimed.

"So? Who cares I'm not worried about school, mom is in her own little world." Cas mumbled, he could feel Sam's glare on him. "Why would Dean even _care?_

 

"Don't think Dean doesn't care, he just does what he thinks is best." Sam took out a pack of cigarettes lighting one he rolled the window down.

_So he is the type to smoke._

"After our parents died, Dean got bad like real _bad_ , after we moved in with our Uncle Bobby he started drinking, skipping class then he just stopped going to school at all. It wasn't until one stupid drunken range he tried to eat a bottle of pills and drink himself to death..Bobby found him after days of him not leaving his bedroom." Sam's voice was low almost a whisper.

"Why did he try to kill himself?" Cas found himself saying.

Sam smirked almost, before he threw the nonexistent cigarette out. 

"He said, after a few months he wanted to get rid of himself that it was his _fault_ mom and dad were gone, he was only sixteen Cas. He said maybe if he hadn't called them that night to pick him up from his friends house maybe a drunken driver wouldn't of crashed into them." Sam started up the impala again leaving Cas feeling even more distraught.

"So Dean tried to kill himself and he's survived? Why didn't he tell me?" Cas was shocked.

"Probably because he doesn't want you to go on that path..Dean is doing good now he has a job he actually likes, he doesn't drink anymore Dean is okay. We just don't talk about what's he's done."

Sam pulled out from the street corner, earning a few concern looks from bystanders..well it was passed eleven at night with two teenage boys arguing in a car.

**

"Mom, I'm home?" Cas opened his front door to see a darken house with his mother's car gone. He took his key locking the door before setting himself on the sofa, the room seemed unregistered in his head. He winced at the pain that grew like wild fire in his arm.

"I said, stop it. Leave me alone!" Cas heard a muffled shuffling then a scream.

He got up from the sofa walking towards the source, a light pooled out from Anna's room. He pressed his ear against the door fearing the worse.

"You shut your mouth up, you stupid bitch." He heard Raphael's voice shout before there was another shoving.

"Why won't you leave me alone! I told you I'm breaking up with you. I'm tired of you hurting me." Anna sobbed. 

"You're not leaving _me._ Ever." There was a loud crack, then Anna was silent.

Cas pushed the door open, exposing a bloody cowering Anna in the corner. Her left eye was bloodshot and purple. He noticed one of her arms was bleeding furiously. He took a few steps to her only to be knocked down by a fuming angry Raphael.

"Anna are you okay? Hey-". He tried talking.

"Look at this! Your little brother is trying to save _you!_ Sorry kid nothing personal, but fuck your sister has a big fucking mouth. She wanted to leave me." He hovered over Cas.

Cas darted his eyes over to Anna who was shaking her head over and over again _stop it Castiel._

"I'm sorry please leave him alone." Anna screamed.

Raphael shook his head before kicking Cas in the side.

"Anna, do you see what you have caused you just couldn't shut the Hell up, now your stupid pathetic brother is taking it." 

Cas shielded his head from Raphael's blows. Anna screamed surely someone heard her, they lived in right next to people.

Raphael stopped only to walk over to Anna, she jumped up to run from him. Instead he took her right arm causing a sicking crack to fill the air.

"Please ssstop it my arm's broken." Her voice was raw from  
screaming, looking like a beaten dog she scrabbled for him to release her.

Cas tried to get up, his stomach exploded inside from all the blows. The air smelled a mixture of blood and sweat. 

All hope was loss, Anna was going to be murdered, Cas was helpless he grunted towards the phone laying discarded he made one swift move to grab it to meet Raphael's foot crushing his hand along with the phone.

"Thinking of calling someone? Possibly someone to help you or maybe your little boyfriend _Dean._ you know what too bad.." Raphael's voice hissed.

Raphael moved in to punch him more, when a clicking noise stopped him in his tracks.

"You douchebag, beating down on a girl and someone who's smaller than you. Who gave you the right?" A sincere voice cried out.

Cas felt the weight off his hands to see Dean standing there with a gun in his hands.

"Dean? What how are you here?" Cas asked. 

"I heard Sam dropped you off, I didn't get a chance to say goodbye, I was at your window trying to pry it open to hear screaming, and here I am with some scumbag beating you and your sister." Dean kept the gun pointed at Raphael while Anna was in gaping horror.

Cas sat up, holding himself up he forced himself to grab Anna's arm shoving her and himself out into the living room.

"Castiel don't tell mom." He sat Anna on a chair plopping her up.

"Just stay awake." He took her dangling arm balancing it carefully. Anna nodded.

"Dean, are you okay?" Cas held his stomach. 

"I'm fine." Dean took Raphael by his neck shoving him on the floor, he threw his phone at him.

Cas caught it as Dean tied Raphael to a bed post with a robe tie.

He chuckled. "Looks like you won't be beating up anyone soon."

"Dean what am I going to do?" Cas could feel his voice break.

"Call the police after _I_ leave. Tell them everything except that I was here." Dean urged.

Cas nodded his head despite the pain flowing through out his head. 

"Dean, why did you come back?"

Dean shrugged not answering Cas. "All I wanted was to say good bye. I didn't get a chance to."

Dean then climbed through Cas's window but stopped himself.

"Dean are you stuck?" Cas was taken by his hand pulling him closer to Dean, he held in his breath. "Dean what are you-."

Dean placed his lips gingerly against Cas, he was over his head to kiss back. The kiss was over before he could even react to it.

"I told you Cas I do care." Dean was then gone. He stood confused but a wail of Anna's pained scream reactivated his mind.

With lighting speed he dialled for help on Dean's phone.

" _Hello 911 what is your emergency?_ " The operator spoke and Cas began to tell what happened.


	7. Chapter 7

Cas was at school with his arm in a sling to avoid any questions about the bandages surrounding his arm. 

Mr. Gordon was grading his make up test, with a grin plastered across his face he handed him his paper. 

"Mr. Novak, I see that you have been studying again this is progress for you." 

Cas held onto the paper grinning like an idiot at the B he received, it was the best part of his day besides being drove to school by Sam.

"I studied this weekend, I guess it did some good." Cas took the paper with a good hand placing it in his book bag.

"As always good to see my best student rise from the bottom." Mr. Gordon bid good bye to Cas.

"See you next class. Thank you so much Mr. Gordon I finally got to make my grade up." He left the classroom avoiding the bathroom, Dean and Meg had taken all his razors away. So he couldn't harm himself.

He walked to his locker, with a skip in his step he opened his locker to find his chemistry book.

He almost was to his classroom when a hand jerked him around, he was smiling lazily only to have fear flood him. 

_Crowley._ He wasn't smiling as he dragged him to the restroom.

"Please don't do this, I won't tell anyone." Cas was begging he was thrown against a bathroom stall, hitting his head on a urinal.

"Oh Castiel, it's been so long I heard about your episode blood was everywhere, with that big moose carrying you out."

Cas could feel his heart thundering, Crowley was going to do so much worst than have him perform a blow job. 

"Or your pathetic sister being beaten as well I heard you were involved." 

Something snapped in Cas, he got off his feet he was tired of being beaten down. 

"Don't fucking talk about my sister like that, you know nothing about her!" Cas shouted.

Crowley chuckled darkly. "Just because you're shouting at me isn't going to change what you are..pathetic waste and it looks like you've tried to cut your veins open, you didn't think I'd notice that?" 

Cas held his arm close to himself he could make a run for it, he could be free and run. _Run to who?_ Dean couldn't save him not this time.

"I'll scream, I don't care what you say." Cas threaten.

"Oh try it pretty boy and your friends Meg, Sam and the whole gang will be served on a platter."

Cas was stuck at square one again, Crowley hovered over him daring to make a move.

"You won't touch me." Cas moved a inch before kicking his shins, while he howled over in pain he dared to run out.

"You stupid bastard, I'll kill you." Crowley howled.

Cas opened the bathroom door, the hallway was empty he had to run anywhere but here.

He wasn't fully aware where he was at, the teachers were away safety with their students while Cas ran for his life. Crowley was cursing behind him, no where to run to no where to hide.

"Castiel? What are you doing?" A familiar voice caught his attention. 

He turned to see, Meg was coming from outside holding onto her pack of cigarettes. "Oh I was ditching. I guess." 

She cocked an eyebrow before nodding, she raised her eyebrows to see a huffing out of breath Crowley trailing behind.

"Wait a second, that's the bully doochebag I saw you with before." Meg stood in front of Cas.

"Move you stupid girl or you'll going to regret it." Crowley yelled earning a few curious students out from their classrooms.

"No _you_ are going to leave him alone..I think I know what you've been doing to Cas."

"Oh and what's that?" Crowley rounded around her.

"You have _beaten_ and _raped_ him. I think it's time you earn your just deserts." Her voice grew to nothing but a whisper.

Crowley looked around at the curious students shooting them death glares. "That's a load of shit I've never hurt him, I only tried to stop himself from.-"

Meg cut him off. "From what his friends? Or from the evidence that you've hurt him. There was semen on his sweaters each day after you two paid a forced visit to the bathroom, I've been there each day to see what you've done."

Crowley smiled. "Oh Megan you know nothing.."

Meg took out a phone pulling up a blurry video, that otherwise displayed Cas with Crowley pushing him into the bathroom.

"There's a thing called proof and I have it..now you leave him alone for good."

Crowley speechless turned to leave only for a gym teacher who had witnessed everything took him by the scruff of his neck. 

"I believe you and the police are going to have a nice long chat." Meg shouted.

Then Crowley was being led away to the principal's office. Cas felt the weight of the world pulled off, he was _free_ thanks to Meg.

"Meg I don't know how to thank you, how did you even know!" He exclaimed. 

Meg patted his back. "I just know these sort of things had a friend just like you she didn't fight back and her attacker got away with it." She smiled sadly. 

"Was it you?" Meg didn't answer instead she offered him to go grab a coffee. 

Castiel followed her to her car, it was over the abuse Crowley pushed him through he could finally breathe again. Cas enjoyed the warm sunshine that spilled onto him, it was a new day for Cas.

"Meg can you drop me off at the Winchesters? Please?"

Meg laughed while nodding. "Sure thing Cas."

He wanted to start over, he wanted to see Dean and come clean..and maybe Dean could love something so fragile back.


	8. Chapter 8

"Dean? Are you here?" Cas pushed the front door open Bobby wasn't to be seen, along with Sam was still at school.

He stepped over a pile of books, careful not to disturb them. "Dean where are you?"

He climbed the stairs, taking two at a time the house seemed warm and inviting. He ran passed the other rooms settling on Dean's door. 

With a little push, he noticed it was spotless the growing pile of laundry gone instead replaced with a actual bed. He closed the door behind him to see Dean had headphones on and was writing.

 _That explains a lot._ He took the headphones out surprising Dean. 

"Cas what the Hell are you doing here? Shouldn't _you_ be at school?" Dean moved from his desk to see a textbook on Physics. "oh that." He covered the book up, not wanting Cas to see. 

"I do go to class, not a Ivy League school but it's the best that Lawrence can offer." He yawned.

"I didn't know that, Dean there's so much I don't know about you. And there's so much I want to tell you." Cas sat on the bed.

"Well we can talk for hours and hours or you can tell me why you're here." Dean chuckled. 

"Because I think, you did a nice job with your bedroom." 

Dean rolled his eyes, he took out a dry cleaning bag handing it to Cas. 

"What's this?"

"Open it you big dummy..I think you've been missing it." Dean watched him like a proud parent.

Cas took the bag unzipping it to reveal a tab familiar trench coat, he couldn't believe after everything it was his. It had been with Dean the whole time.

"Thank you? How did it end up here?" Cas could feel tears forming in his eyes.

"You let it in the impala, I think you need to go to the field with Sammy and I tonight." Dean sat next to Cas on the bed having him to breath quicker.

"Sure, that sounds great..Dean can I ask you something?"

Dean shrugged meaning yes. 

"Why did you kiss me the other night?" Cas pulled the trench coat over him taking in Dean's scent.

Dean blushed not answering him right away.

"I think it's because you like me, even just a little bit." Cas scooted closer to him. 

"Come tonight and you'll find out soon enough." Dean didn't notice or maybe didn't say anything as their fingers connected.

"I'll be there." Cas walked down the stairs to awaiting Meg.

"Did you tell him?" Meg was belting her lungs out to a pop song.

"No, but I'm coming back tonight.."

Meg turned the radio up louder even Cas started to sing alone even if he couldn't understand the lyrics.

**  
Cas with the help of Meg, arrived to the field that seemed mystic tonight or maybe it was the fact Cas had drank half a bottle of whiskey with him puking his guts out, for the first few minutes. 

"I told you not to drink that much for your first time, Castiel are you trying to get me killed by Dean?"

Cas laughed he thought Meg to be a older sister almost to him. She cared a lot for him even taking over his battles.

"Meg, I love you." He heard the words escape him.

"You love me? I thought you loved Dean." She tapped her hands against the wheel. 

"I love you like a sister, and wait how did you know about Dean??" Cas slurred his words were running together. 

"Cas, like I said I know these things I could see every time Dean is around or someone says his name you perk up like a little dog." 

"Is that a bad thing.."

"Oh no little _brother_ , it's love I think you should go for it try to prove to Dean how much you love him, it's not too late." Meg yawned.

"Thanks Meg for everything, I'll see you at school tomorrow." He opened the door to welcome the cool breeze to his face. 

Meg pulled away, honking her horn. 

He walked over into the field, to see the Winchesters already setting off fireworks. 

"Cas! Hey buddy you made it!" Sam handed him a coke, which he placed in his coat.

"Hey Sam, where's Dean?" He looked to see Dean sitting alone in the impala drumming his fingers against the dashboard.

"Dean! Hey I came, to see you." He slurred. 

Dean raised his eyebrows at him. "Cas are you drunk? Oh my god this is your first time being drunk isn't it?" Dean started to laugh.

"Meg warned me to stop, I didn't care I'm celebrating." Cas got in sitting next to Dean. 

"Celebrating what?" 

"Freedom. I'm free from all my personal demons. And I wanted to thank you I guess."

Dean linked his hand with Cas. _Had Dean finally chosen to be with him?_

"Cas, I've thought about it and I decided that I'll.-" 

Sam pulled open the door grinning madly he handed them each a firework. 

"Come on let's go light these fuckers up." 

"Sam we were having a private chat, Jesus Christ haven't you heard of knocking?" Dean sighed.

"Of course I've heard of knocking, at home." Sam scoffed. 

"Whatever, come on let's go." 

Cas trailed behind the Winchesters, with Sam lighting the first firework lighting the sky up with blue lights. 

"Dean are you going to tell Cas what you're going to do?" Sam handed him the lighter.

"I'll try it out." 

"Try what out?" Cas was curious.

"To go out with you, or we can hang out a few nights a-"

Cas could feel the liquor flooding to his head, he jumped onto Dean kissing him fully. 

"Fucking about time Dean." Sam stood back giving the two privacy.

"You mean it Dean?" 

Dean smiled, "Of course I mean it I love you Cas."

Cas hopped off him before pulling the lighter from his hands, he needed a new moment now to mark the celebration.

"Holy crap Cas. That's beautiful." The three looked up to see a purple lights in the sky.

"Cas you're beautiful, I don't want you to forget that." Dean mused. 

Cas blushed, thankful it was night.

"I love you Dean.." Cas hid in Dean's shoulder, breathing in his scent.

Everything was in it's right place, Sam kept lighting fireworks off while the two sat on the impala watching them fill the sky. 

Dean gripped Cas's hand sending that familiar bolt of electricity, everything was going to be okay as long as Dean was around nothing could take the moment away. 

~FIN~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Endings are hard anyone can start a beginning but thank you all, for the full support I've have had its crazy how successful I was with this thanks to everyone that read it and for all the positive feedback!

**Author's Note:**

> My first supernatural fic or better known my first Destiel fic please don't hate me enjoy I guess.


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